-Your computer will screw you without a second thought
-Your computer is smarter
-You can`t blame Bill Gates if your girlfriend dumps you
-Your computer doesn`t get paranoid if you don`t interface with it every
day
-Your computer will not sulk if you play another computer
-Your computer does not demand to be taken out on Friday nights
-You can upgrade your computer without much hassle
-Computers don`t go everywhere in pairs
-Your computer can play computer games
-Your computer will not object to you talking about football
-You can`t get off with a computer
-You cannot pass the time in boring lessons by admiring the lower half of
a nearby computer
-Talking to a computer rarely cheers you up
-School computers become *less* attractive with age
-Cute girls become more desirable if immersed in water
-It`s hard to get enthusiastic about spending time with your computer
-Your computer never phones you up for a natter
-Modern computers don`t insist on paying for themselves
-A equivalent computer costs far more
-You have to actually acquire a computer to get pleasure from it`s
existence
-Both are capable of being less logical than the Swiss Navy
-They are both prone to freezing up without warning
-You can run up an enormous phone bill with either
-There`s always someone with a better one than you
-You can only dream about having the best of either
-A bad experience with one model puts you off the entire range
-Time spent with either is preferable to homework
-Your best friend invariably has the one you want
-You miss them both when you`re on holiday
-Sustaining a relationship with either without spending money is sadly
impossible.